I grew up in the 80's so it was before you could get information from your house, before phones were more than phones and before social media showed you just how big [and small!] the world actually is.
Now everyone is down on the younger generation for being in their phones and on social media "all the time." And the superiority! Oy shut uuuuuuuuppppppp! Why does no one else go deeper? As with the pokemon go it has its good and its bad points. I can imagine that if I was a parent I would be grateful to have a way to keep in touch with my child at all times. Are phones, tablets and video games an escape? YUP! So is reading a fictional book, no one criticizes that. Maybe the question we should ask is: why do so many people live lives they feel a need to escape from?
Have you seen this particular meme? I guess it's supposed to make you feel like either you should check your big-ass ego or that your problems aren't that important because you aren't that important.
Only a couple of problems with this. For one, the yahoos with enormous egos that need to receive this message, won't. Those megalomaniacs are about as likely to register that message as a pharmaceutical company is going to give away life saving drugs.
I would go as far as this message is about as responsible as a hung over freshman with a drink in one hand and a joint in the other. People considering ending their own life believe this bullshit, they are insignificant, that they don't mean anything to anyone. Do you think this is a responsible message for a suicidal person?
Oh I know, it’s not that deep. The point is that no one is significant not even the billionaires and world famous moguls and we're just all supposed to realize how unimportant we all are and how unimportant our problems are and because we're so unimportant stop feeling so bad about it and what? Tow the line? I mean, really what is the point? ‘In a 100 years from now this isn't going to matter.’ Uh yeah, and if I wasn’t here anymore what I'm concerned about wouldn’t matter either. But since it's usually a selfishly bad idea to solve temporary problems with permanent solutions and we can't time travel to 100 years from now shit matters now! Who is anyone to invalidate anyone's feelings, issues, and problems? Now you in your infinite wisdom from vast experience may have been down that road so many times you can navigate it blindfolded but other people are still experiencing their emotions. We bombard the world with the message "you're insignificant" then wonder why a select few special people abuse gun possession.
Everyone has a reason and a way to invalidate or marginalize someone else. Some people, such as politicians have more power in the world and therefore their marginalization of one group or another is more harmful than say your counter clerk’s vernacular of sales negotiations. Even in the pole community there is division and marginalization. I’m not sure one group [in the pole community] has any more power than another but after a while it becomes a bunch of noise. Lately everything is clap and clap back. There are good points on every side of an argument with eloquently spoken words from people who have had lots of practice arguing their points. It’s their goal to make you feel small. It’s their goal to shut you up. Or not. Some people would guilt you into being a rhetoric spewing robot who has been shamed into forgetting their own experience. Don’t buy into their drama (there is always drama). Think for yourself. Your experiences matter, your life matters.
Just because we are but a dot on another bigger dot doesn't mean anything because each of us means something to someone. We all have the power to inflict pain. We all have the power to break someone’s heart. We also have the power to lift someone up and make them feel loved. A message that you are insignificant is not empowering. It may be empowering to say "fuck it" or "what the fuck". "What the fuck gives you freedom, Joel...." but only if it comes from a place of self acceptance and love.
A belief that "I don't matter" leads to a thought of "so I might as well whatever...." which is usually something reckless or self destructive. It should be noted people can have that thought as a result of a lot of different things. One of the worst mistakes a person can make is believing they are more important to someone than they actually are. Finding out someone you think the world of doesn’t feel the same can be enough to make someone feel insignificant and unworthy. If a person isn’t strong enough in their own sense of self, the loss of a loved one can be enough to make someone feel worthless.
As people go through break ups everyday there is enough of them feeling that insignificant feeling-- they don’t need some sanctimonious meme telling them how small they are.
How about instead of trying to invalidate someone else we tell them "hey, it’s going to be okay. Whatever it is you’re worried about there is a solution for that. I don't necessarily know what it is but there is one and you are worthy of it."
We live, we breathe and we matter. There is no insignificant.
There is a song that is 3 minutes and :57 seconds long and I wait for 3 minutes and :05 seconds of this song to hear someone in the background go "feel the rhythm of it.....feel the rhythm of it". It's significant. It makes the whole flippin’ song.
There are no insignificant pole moves or movements either. Some holds require a step by step execution not unlike the shifts for an 18 wheeler where you can’t miss one gear, pole can be the same way, you have to do each step to complete the move even if it looks like you could skip hand placements or knee bends.
One time I took 514 stills from 3 different videos to figure out why sometimes in this one move my leg was higher and sometimes I could not unbend my leg more than 90 degrees. Turned out that if I looked back at my leg while I was pulling on it and kept looking at it until I literally got it as high as I could I got it a lot higher than when I did it blind and had my head turned toward the camera. 514 stills from 3 videos to finally see a head turn.
In pole 5 millimeters makes a difference. Some poles are 50mm. That used to be the standard diameter in the pole community. In Australia they typically use 38mm and 45mm. 45mm is now emerging as the preferred diameter and is used in most competitions though I do not know that anything is considered standard anymore.
It’s tempting to dismiss things as small and insignificant. Some things are small and totally irrelevant. But many things we attempt to trivialize either to falsely reassure ourselves or others will come around to show their hugeness later.
Don’t trivialize people and don’t let anyone trivialize you. Absolutely nothing wrong with being “all about that bass” or [whatever it is you culturally are] as long as you also understand that self acceptance is a train everyone gets to ride. We are however, responsible for grabbing our spot on the rail.
No one gets to tell anyone their worth because everyone gets to decide for themselves their own worth. It’s up to us each to realize that. Do not accept anything in your world that makes you feel less than you believe you are worth. Decide for yourself what you are worth and behave accordingly. Stay true to yourself and act within your own integrity and no one will have the power to make you feel insignificant.
Aviva has been instructing private clients and group classes for over 20 years. Her passion is pole dancing. Her focus is safe, effective training for the purpose of achieving your goal.